Several weeks ago, I had the chance to scan my journal notebooks from 2020. These journal scans reflect, not just my thoughts about 2020, but the different styles and notebooks I tried last year. I'd like to think that this whole endeavour is nothing but a great adventure- you discover something and you learn new ideas. Of course, there were not so good experiences, but what matters, especially in hindsight, was that I had the opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with writing and self-reflection.
1. Limelight Journal
Originally, I planned to make this dotted notebook as my bullet journal for 2020. However, when March began, I transformed this notebook as my Journal Notebook. Because I did not plan to use this as my journal notebook, I kind of struggled with the space since the notebook is bigger than the notebooks I usually use for my journals. It's one of the things I learned from this journal that I now apply every time I look for notebooks. Too much space is not my kind of ideal notebook.
As you can see on the scanned pages below, I experimented with different styles and decorations by using different colours of pens.The style is very cute and childish since I originally planned to deviate from my usual journaling styles- minimal and muted. Also, I got the inspiration for these entries from instagram accounts I used to follow. Although instagram inspirations are nice, you'll find out later how it also ruined my sense of self especially when it comes to my journals.
2. Lined Notebook
This second notebook is a lined notebook I got from my friend, Sophia. She gave this to me around 2 years ago as a Christmas gift. Back then, we used to fangirl over a show, and she told me to use this notebook as a space where I can write fanfic ideas. Although it was nice to write stories, I used this notebook to write random things instead. Most of the things I wrote here were ideas I can't write on my journals such as late-night thoughts or random realisations while listening to my favourite songs.
Despite the more laidback approach I used on this notebook, this is actually my most favourite of the three. The thing I learned from this notebook is to not take journaling very seriously. Sometimes, too much aesthetic inspiration and goals deviate us from the real purpose of why we are doing what we are doing. Following aesthetic goals, especially when it comes to journaling, I realised, is actually restrictive because it pressures me to follow a certain set of ideals for my work to be appreciated. Kind of pretentious if you'll ask me since the primary reason why I write is to write for myself, and not to write for somebody else.
The pressure of instagram inspiration is what forced me to delete my account and abandon my limelight journal for several months. As much as I appreciated instagram journal inspirations, I was pressured to have the same vibe/ aesthetic. To make things easier for me, I just deleted my instagram account and never looked back.
3. Traveler's Notebook Refills
As I mentioned in one of my previous post, using this notebook came as a surprise since I never really thought of using this again. Also, I was already comfortable with doing laidback entries to go back and do decorative journal entries. However, the art of the album called The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan inspired me to give this notebook and decorative journal entries a second chance.
Surprisingly, I enjoyed going back to the style that I'm very much familiar with. Vintage-inspired journal isn't just my comfort zone, but this kind of journal design was what I used to make when I began documenting my life around 5 years ago. Doing these entries feel like bringing all things back home- my inspirations, dreams, and love for writing.
As for my 2021 Journals
Of the three, it's the Limelight Journal that I've decided to not use for 2021. I initially wanted to continue using the journal since I bought another one last year. Sadly, since the start of the year, I only did 2 entries on my Limelight journal. I guess sometimes you just really have to accept that some things don't work out no matter how much effort and time you're willing to compromise to make things work- a life lesson I learned from Blood on the Tracks.
As for the other notebooks, I'm happy to report that I still use them. In fact, I'm excited because I've already used 75% of the lined notebook's pages. I can't wait to look for another notebook to serve as my repository of random thoughts and observations because that means new opportunity to find love and happiness. As for my Traveler's Notebook Refills, I currently using a refill from a different brand. I'll probably write about it soon.
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